What is the Systems Approach to Helping Families?
By Dr. Gary Sweeten, LPCC (Retired)
In Graduate School for Counseling the focus was on teaching me and other students to be very good Helpers for an individual with a mental, emotional, or relational problem. The root cause of all problems was seen to lie deep within that individual. I was supposed to be an expert who found the root, and deftly told them how to resolve it. The emphasis of most medical, psychological and educational training was on one person who was labeled as a Patient. In fact, it was unethical and even illegal to speak with the parents, spouse or colleague about ways they might assist the person in pain.
This approach to treatment continues to reign supreme in many medical and psychological practices. For example, one of the families we know has a child with Down syndrome. They took her to various doctors and therapist at a local hospital for children and got great treatment for some of her issues. However, this child, like many with her diagnosis, had severe issues with her eyesight and asked that doctor what to do with no assistance. After three frustrating years, they discovered that the physician just down the hall from him was an expert on vision problems with children with Down syndrome.
A system’s approach would see that child and her entire family as well as the medical community as a web of interacting parts not as isolated pieces that are not connected. In fact, I see the parents as the key to this child’s care rather than the medical professionals. Thus, the entire family must be considered as the focus of treatment and information. To keep them in the dark about other sources of treatment options is wrong and harmful.
When parents call me with a serious problem with another member of the family, I always try to see how all their parts are working together. Years ago I had a V8 Ford which would sometimes misfire, shake and rattle when I drove it. If one of the 8 cylinders was misfiring, it rattled the entire engine and car, not just that cylinder. When a member of the family is ill, misfiring or dysfunctioning, the whole family is shaken up. Sometimes that spark plug misfired not because it was weak or bad but because the wiring system was broken.
When a child has a diagnosis such as ADHD or Autism or Down syndrome, that spark plug is shaky. However, the ways the parents and siblings interact with the child and or the rest of the family either makes the child’s problems worse or better. This is what we call a systemic approach because we focus on how we can facilitate healthy interactions among everyone not just the Identified Patient (IP).
This is why we happily teach churches and community groups how to provide support for all family members including the child with a disability. We teach organizations how to support mom and dad and the siblings as well as the child. For example, some local churches provide an evening respite where they offer child care for kids with a special need. That is a wonderful ministry to the entire family. We work with other churches to provide a free meal, fellowship and teaching for the parents. We call it Parent Pampering support while their child is safely at the other place.
The greatest need is for Parent Support along with Child Support. Call us for coaching on how to do it.